Frankly, I adore them. My Ayah is a very faithful person, he's not an Ustaz but I strongly believe that he's the best father a person can have. I respect on how he obeys and how he actually getting near and close to Allah. He woke up early to perform his Tahajjud, even though it's not everyday, he performs every prayer at the mosque, berjemaah, even though we are in the middle of a journey, he will definitely find a mosque and performs his solat berjemaah. He reads Quran every morning and finish one surah after his Subuh, I mean he's great. And my Mak just as amazing as Ayah. They run their obligations as parents so amazingly. And I think that I am not good enough to even be their child, they deserve better. It's very sad upon listening to Ayah when he tells us his depression, the fact that we sleep till noon, we dont go majlis ugama even the Ustaz came by in front of the house, we dont perform our prayers etc. Ayah often said that we cant sleep after Subuh prayer because Malaikat rezeki often comes in the early morning, and do not sleep during Asar time till Maghrib because it will give you disease. But still we did it. And frankly I feel like whenever something bad happens to my parents, it is because of us, because they've been amazing. I feel very bad towards my parents but Im trying to become a better person, Insya-Allah :)
And me as a Muslim really do have a niat to become a better person, indeed. I know perform my five prayers every day, that I wear tudung, I dont show my skin etc. But by doing all the things required is not enough when it is not done to perfection. Covering everything is useless if they still show your curves. I do wear tudung but I usually flip it back, so it becomes shorter in front, and apparently it shows my boobs. So sometimes I feel like what is the purpose of wearing tudung instead of covering my hair if I still have my boobs there, NO POINT. I do want to become a Muslim in name and in person. Just like my younger sister, she doesn't wear those clothes, jeans whatsoever pakaian which show her curves and really did cover her boobs even though she doesn't wear tudung labuh. I mean, my parents will definitely be proud of her, because the way she dress is wayyyy more appropriate than her sisters.
And of course being a Muslim myself, I always heard Ustaz or Ustazah says during ceramah, that we should solat dengan kusyuk, dont think about things when you are in the middle of your solat, because literally you are talking to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, help whatever it is. You don't do what Allah forbid you to do. Like eating pork, drinking alcohol, talk bad about other people, stealing, whatsoever. We really don't need to question why is this, why is that. Because some of the questions just don't have answers. It's only the way how Islam is conveyed and how ikhlas we are in doing Islam.
So this is the video :)
Till then, xoxo
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